Dinner Time at Our Place: Letting Go of Mum Guilt and Gaining Independence

Life at our place is busy, modern, a little imperfect, but it works. I’m both a company director and a single mum of three (two still at home), so dinners don’t always look like the traditional family meals I grew up with. We’re not gathered around a perfectly set table every night like the families you see on TV.

Some nights, I’ll admit, I feel the mum guilt. Other nights I’m run off my feet juggling printing orders, designing new collections, or posting on social media for my business, and the kids are happily doing their own thing. It feels strange to nag them for the fourth time to check if they’re okay.

And then moments like last week happen, the kind that completely shift my perspective.

Paige’s Take on Dinner

Last week, while I was eating a quick chicken salad in between cutting orders and creating social media content, my 9-year-old daughter Paige was proudly making her own dinner. Her older sister Isla was holed up in her room doing homework, refusing to come out until the coast was clear.

I called out: “Are you okay?”

“Yeh,” she replied with a big smile.

“But are you really okay?” I asked, hinting at the guilt building in my chest.

She looked confused. “About what?”

I said: “Well, because I’m not like the other mums, cooking your meal and sitting down together at the table.”

At this point she turned back to the stove and said, “Give me a minute, Mum, I’m going to burn my egg.”

I chuckled, and when she returned she said:

“No, this is really great, Mum. I love it. I get to pick WHATEVER I want to eat for dinner, I don’t have to eat with my sister, and I CAN DO IT all by myself. I’m going to have to learn one day.”

Cue me bursting into tears and giving her the biggest hug. I realised the only one with an issue was me. Paige felt empowered, capable, and proud. She wasn’t missing out – she was thriving.

And lately, she’s taken her independence even further — she also loves making cookies, which is super handy when I need a snack while working in the office!

Why I Changed the Way We Do Meals

For 18 years, dinner time has been my biggest battle as a mum. Getting three kids to eat the same meal and not complain felt impossible. I tried everything: removing dessert as punishment, saving leftovers for breakfast, even creating charts that tracked nutrients. Once I told them if they could sort it out between themselves so nothing was wasted, I’d be fine. That night, one plate ended up with all the carrots, another with beetroot, while my son happily devoured every tomato.

Eventually, I gave up the fight.

One weekend, I meal-prepped a stack of healthy dinners: silverside, roast chicken, marinated chicken, sausages, plus veggies, mash, and potato bake. I portioned everything into containers, labelled and dated them, and stacked the freezer full.

Then I sat down with the kids and said: “You’re smart. I’ve taught you about healthy foods, and now it’s up to you. You can pick from what I’ve prepped, or if you don’t like it, make something else healthy.” Instead of control, they got a clear boundary and freedom to be creative inside it.

• My grocery bill went down
• Food wastage dropped
• Organisation went up
• Stress around meals disappeared

Now, even if I have a late work event or a networking night in Brisbane, I know they’re sorted. More importantly, the kids are learning independence, responsibility, and how to make their own good choices.

Healthy Dinner Ideas for Busy Aussie Families

It’s not perfect or Instagram-polished, but it’s ours. Some nights it’s Paige whipping up eggs on toast and decorating her plate with veggies. Other nights it’s a freezer-prepped dinner like sausages with veg, roast chook with mash, or honey soy chicken with potato bake.

It was so cute watching her exercise her independence, proudly serving up what I could only describe as a deconstructed “Lettuce, Fried Egg and Carrot Flower” beside wholegrain spaghetti with bacon and mozzarella. You won’t find it on a restaurant menu anytime soon, but it was colourful, creative, and actually pretty healthy too.

One of my favourites has to be what I call “Dinosaur Tacos.” They’re so easy and always get a laugh — chicken dinosaur nuggets wrapped in a crunchy lettuce leaf with grated cheese and sliced tomatoes. Simple, fun, and surprisingly tasty, it’s a dinner win for everyone.

Healthy doesn’t need to feel forced. Watching Paige make food fun again has been a gift for me too.

What I’ve Learned

Watching Paige cook and create her own meals has taught me that independence is a gift. She makes food that’s sometimes quirky, sometimes surprisingly balanced, but always hers. She takes pride in her choices and makes healthy eating feel easy.

Dinner time might not look traditional at our place, but it’s practical, empowering, and it works for our family here in Queensland.

If you’re another mum juggling kids, work, and everything in between, I hope this encourages you to release the pressure. Independence can be just as nourishing as the meal itself.

Final Thoughts

As mums, we put so much pressure on ourselves to match an ideal that doesn’t really exist. What matters most is that our kids feel loved, capable and cared for, and that can look different for every family.

Like Paige reminded me:

“I love it. I get to pick whatever I want to eat for dinner… and I can do it all by myself.”

Maybe that isn’t imperfect at all. Maybe that’s exactly what independence looks like.